Red In The Water

December 2016

Blood and Water

The evolution of this dream has grown from just a thought-
To something real that we can feel.
But we almost forgot.

How will I map this out tonight?
The past until today?
What lies inside this entry?
Save the things I need to say?

How do I paint the joy on top of all that once was true?
Without the grief,
I am a trail of
words.
And
fate.
And
you.

What am I supposed to do?
Where is my excuse?
Maybe I just need you, too.
Maybe I just need you, muse.

So throw me a rope, tonight.

Think the way that you used to.
For you have nothing left to prove.
It is okay to breathe.
To move.
If you trust me,
then I'll trust you.

I do.

Even when you sit and write
the lullabies that die inside.
The ones we always seem to find.
When we're amidst the finer lines.

What an amazing day!
We arrived at Elkart Career Center at 10am this morning to set up for the Red In The Water underwater photoshoot. Krystal, my makeup artist, successfully accomplished the arduous task of applying makeup that made it through the entire chlorinated shoot.

The boys found themselves ready before me and with nothing to do, so they made due by playing music on Mac's banjo.
Krystal's baby kicked to the beat.
Kelly and Justin, the photographers, ran in and out of the room in hurried spurts.
It was a bit of a whirlwind to me.
Even as I try to recant the experience, I find myself dry and exhausted.
In an almost cathartic state.
Too tired to express joy.
Too joyful to cater to exhaustion.

But it is, indeed true, that this is the closest I've ever felt to elegant underwater.
The only mermaid I'll ever be.